FY, thanks for the perspective. On second thought, I agree that this was not breaking a rule. I think what has changed is my willingness to define boundaries and risk a negative outcome.
I also think that in my sitch, maybe I've become the H only a fool will leave and this is why the W is staying.
About the "need to change something, anything ..." yes! My DB coach made a good point to validate and support the desired changes because you don't won't to be blamed for holding them back. Let them fail if necessary on their own.
