Which is the truth?

[chl0901]

Hi forlovessake, I'm also close to your age and your sitch sounds similar to mine in some aspects, as far as the way your H acts normally and y'all getting together young, etc (we are HS sweethearts). This is a really helpful place to be. Much of the advice is the exact opposite of what you want or think you should do, but if that other stuff worked, then we wouldn't all be here, would we?

Definitely read Sandi's 37 rules often and try to follow them! Also, get DB if you haven't yet. I also read the 5 Love Languages book which was helpful in identifying how my H receives love well. Maybe one of your 180s could be no nagging - that is one of mine; I realized I did not want to be a "nag" so I have stopped doing that.

I also think another issue of mine has been my H thinking I've chosen our S over him. By saying that I mean that I act happier when I'm with my S (how can I not laugh and be happy with a sweet toddler?!) and spend almost all of my free time with S. The truth is, I would absolutely LOVE for my H to spend more time with our S and maybe even let me escape for a bit to go get a pedicure or something once in awhile while he watches S. H works a lot and then is gone at least 80% of each weekend with his friends, so I really don't have any other choice than to spend that time alone with S (which I do enjoy, but would rather do more family things together including go on more dates with H). I know you have a young D and you said your H spends a lot of time away from y'all as well, so that resonated with me.

Good luck with your sitch and take care of that sweet D and yourself!