It's tough dealing with the crazy part if they don't see that they need help.

In retrospect, I wish I had taken my ex to the psychiatrist for his OCD issues - however, they never seemed severe enough and he would have just turned the focus onto me, I'm sure. Also, you get so USED to living with crazy, it's only in retrospect that I see HOW bad he was.

Your H definitely sounds nutty - mania, perhaps, or early psychosis of some sort? Do you have any suspicion of substance abuse? What's his diet like? Does he have any physical ailments? Any history of concussions or brain trauma?

My ex, in retrospect, probably has very mild bipolar tendencies, definitely has some OCD, and all of this got worse after he had several concussions in an 8 year span.

Although I do feel kind of guilty for not getting him more help when he might have cooperated (he did, however, see a psychiatrist and take antidepressants for a while when we first reconciled) - I know that he would never have admitted that he needed help with those issues, since everything was MY fault in his mind.

My ex is not my problem anymore. But if you want to try to help your H, you might try the following:
- get his B12 level checked, or at least get him to take some B12 sublingual tablets (under the tongue). B12 deficiency can arise from a variety of GI issues and psychosis and paranoia can be symptoms if it gets bad. (Same for thiamine deficiency, btw, which is rarer but occurs in alcoholics with poor diets and people with severe bowel problems).

- N-acetyl cysteine is a supplement that has some effectiveness with compulsive gambling and other addictions, look it up.

- you might speak to his personal physician about your concerns (s/he might not be able to answer you, due to HIPAA privacy rules, but you can still voice your concerns.)

- try to figure out if your H is abusing any drugs, prescription or otherwise (and make sure he's not on any Parkinson's-type meds, these are known to cause compulsive gambling and other compulsive behaviors).

- ask him outright if he ever hears voices.

BTW, the thing about not dying in accidents sounds very much like the plot of a movie called Unbreakable with Samuel Jackson.