Lanzo - I read a big chunk of you story. It is very sad. You worked at this for so long and tried so hard. I am very sorry that it still headed to D. When I read stories like yours, it makes me even more determinrd to take control of my own life and move forward. Leaving the control to my W just seems like setting myself up for years of pain. Do you wish you had moved to D earlier?
With all the emotional turmoil I’ve been through, and what I am seeing now I wished I had ended thing things when I caught her in the very first instance leaving a hotel with another man in 2005. But when you love someone and think they love you and you have a young child then its a very difficult thing to do.
Don’t beat yourself up about divorce and filing, you are at the point where the D has to happen, if you didn’t your W would still lead you on that merry dance you have been doing for the last few years.
In the UK whoever files has to do the bulk of the paperwork and ultimately controls the timescales to divorce, we agreed for W to file because I didn’t want her asking me every 5 minutes where we were up to.
I just read another piece you wrote and it resonates with me as well.
Originally Posted By: RockJC
The last 2 weeks in church, the message has been on Esther. I am amazed at how much this spoke to me. Esther showed tremendous courage in doing what is right. I have been afraid of Divorce. I have been afraid of what it will do to my kids and what it will do to my family financially. But, it is time to overcome those fears and do what is right. One of the key points was that we settle for mediocrity in our lives (He specificaly mentioned marriages) because we lack the courage to step out and act on gods calling. Esther wasn't afraid to act. My W was offering me the crumbs of a relationship. I need to have the courage to say that this isn't good enough. God expects more from a marriage and so do I.
These were the things preventing me from moving to a D.
I'm still scared of the divorce proces I am going through but I have no other option now.
