M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Dow she read much? It helps to know what to suggest.
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Marriage Rules
5LL
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Now that you've brought all this up to your W, back off and just see what she does. Don't bring hp her issues, the ball is now in her court.
Early in the year she was reading a lot of stuff on her Kindle. I don't know what she was reading.
When you say brought all this stuff up, do you mean the books or what was said last night? I'm happy to back off.
If I said I will look into MC isn't it just a case of me getting around to that. What am I waiting for her to do?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Sorry, I wasn't clear. I mean the things about her mood and getting an IC.
I would be waiting to see if she does those things. That would show a certain level of commitment to change. But maybe it's better to ask you what you would see as her willingness to work on the M?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Doing that off her own back would be a move in the right direction.
Right now I think if she stops playing games, doesn't try to use me and respects what I want would be a start.
I was thinking earlier about me still having some weekends to myself. It will be a test in itself to see how she approaches this.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Right now I think if she stops playing games, doesn't try to use me and respects what I want would be a start.
Go slow, she won't change all of this in a short period of time. Look at your own experience with change.
You will need to set boundaries and hold them.
Very good point that I hadn't thought of, change is slow. It's my boundaries that stop me getting caught up in it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
One of them would be if she tries to make me feel guilty for something regarding the kids or anything else.
Another would be if she asks me for anything or to do something I don't want to do.
Calling me names or being abusive.
Not quite what my actions would be other than to warn her then distance myself.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
