Starting the big D

[Lanzo]

Hi Rock,

I’ll add my signature at the end of this post so you can see it’s taken a long time to get to this point and it’s not a decision that has been taken lightlty, in fact I am at a point (like you ) where a D is need to break the cycle. I have lots of threads from newcomers and piecing but not really going to link them up.

My sister always said to me that W didn’t want me, but didn’t want anyone else to have me, so to that effect whenever I said “enough was enough” W would throw me a little hope and we would get through another 6 months. When things were looking good, out of the blue an argument would start and we would fall out and be back to square one. I used to think it was my fault but I can now see it was part of W’s long term strategy. I think W has used me as her security blanket while she has explored what’s out there. Her behaviour this time is more like a teenager than that of a woman nearly 50.

However she looked stunning on her last night out which got to me, I normally stay out of her way and try not to look at her cos I’m still not over her and it will take a long time for that to happen. The other thing getting to me is all the intimate things I suggested, but W said were too disgusting, she seems to carrying them out on an extreme level now in her new life. It’s her life (but it should be ours).

So under UK law we are under going a divorce by 2 year separation (even though we are in the same house) W has file and I have responded that I won’t contest (either of us could have filed). Divorce is filed at court and we have a minimum of eight weeks before we can file for the decree absolute to end the marriage. In reality that 8 weeks becomes 6 – 9 months as we failed to agree financial terms in mediation. A judge a court will make a final ruling on who gets what. I like you am trying to keep the house but it will be a struggle what ever happens and I know W and her legal team are looking to take me for most of what I have.

So by the end of this year I should be divorce from W, one or both of us will be out of the house depending on what financial things are enforced and we move on with our lives.