Hoping for WAS to come home

[lost_hope]

Hi JaxFL14, just caught up on your situation. I am so sorry you (and all of us) are going through this. It makes me sad that you and other men in here are saying that it may not have been good to be a nice guy. What I wouldn't give for a nice H (he's totally professional and not a "bad boy" by any stretch but he's just not "nice")! Mine is cold, uncaring, barely gave me gifts, cards (I can count them on one hand), won't take me on vacations (we have been on one our entire relationship), with the exception of some years generally is ok with us not having sex, he just won't show me love in the normal way that people do. Which makes me think ultimately he doesn't love me even if we work it out, that is our norm.

Anyway, I think it's tough with children and you really are doing the best you can with what your W has done. You can't push her anymore bc as per DB that is going to push her away even further. I hope that she realizes how important it is for her boys to have their father in their lives and not just on a part-time basis and hope she comes to realize how much she loves you as well. I can't believe she is doing this with a baby under 1. Seems incredibly difficult for no reason, but we can't mind read for our WASs. Until she wants to come out of the fog she believes she is doing the best thing for herself.

It may be good to not be living with your W now. I know for me when my H had an EA two years ago it was our physical separation (and my ultimate moving on) that made him miss me. I think sometimes being around the person is not that great bc they never miss you at all, and are often get annoyed and frustrated (I had to deal with a really really bad week last week where almost every day H was just plain annoyed with me no matter what I did or didn't do). Maybe you can try to see the benefits to this, but just have to be smart about when you do interact with her.

I will keep up with your situation and be hoping and praying for you and your family. Have a good day and a good week!