Starting the big D

[Lanzo]

I have been reading another thread by RockJC and picked up some similarites to my case. I'm kinda relieved that I'm not going mad and am the only one in this situation.

How did my life ever get here? What happened to the woman I married?

I keep asking myslelf this question. I think the common answer is the W we married is gone and we are faced with this strainger we have to share a house with.

I know this sounds awful, but from what I've read from many others, its best to treat it like the wife you remember died, and so did that marriage. Your waiting for a new wife to come into the picture with a whole new marriage. I like the aliens kidnapped my spouse version more thou. Either way, you get the point, the old wife is NEVER coming back, maybe you need to look at your wife and act like your a friendly stranger to detach. I know that's not easy either, but its true. Just say to yourself "Who is that woman?, cause its not my wife."

This is the quote

but it sure sounds like your W is in a crazy place right now (crazy MLC? )

I wish I could put my sitch down to this but she been on this path since D11 was born

She always has to win, and if I don't take a vary passive turn the other cheek approach, it would spiral out of control. I have learned that over the years, but I am tired of being afraid of her. I need to assert myself on certain issues regardless of the conflict it creates.

I can relate to this.

My W refuses to move out for many reasons:
1) Money - she likes me paying all the bills
2) Convenience - she likes having me around to pay for the kids
3) Future custody/house - her L told her not to move out
4) She likes living in the same house with her kids.

and this.

There are other similarities which I pick up on, but the one advantage RockJC has over me is that he has a line of communication with his W, in my sitch we only talk if we need to and that is very rare.

Lanzo