Quote: I did "nothing" in regards to our issue around the insurance...etc. Guess what??? He was calm, collect...ASKED TO DISCUSS OUR INSURANCE..We resplved our plan..I did not apolgize, JUST LISTENED AND RESPONDED CALMLY AND WITH CONFIDENCE.
Outstanding Mooka, you RELIEVED PRESSURE and when he of course brings it up, you react calmly and confidently, and a major hurdle is jumped, and you did it as TEAMMATES. Very well done, keep it up.
Quote: He is basically still waiting for the real 'love and Passion" in our lives before we go the distance to full on ML
No problem there, "act as if" you're right with him on that one, that you have your own issues about passion and love and whatever..too...you can certainly see where he's coming from because in some ways..YOU'RE A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT YOU"VE BEEN FEELING ALONG THOSE LINES AS WELL.. A general rule of thumb Mooka: When your S isn't sure about his feelings about you or the M the passion, the sex the whatever, always listen and when he's done, sincerely agree and once in awhile give him the subtle impression that you might just be having some of the same thoughts. That way, you always keep the playing field level, and you plant a subtle seed in his mind that this isn't JUST ABOUT HIM, you just might not be too sure about contimually being passionate for someone who doesn't feel passion for you..When you give him a little taste of "my needs arent't exactly getting met here either..", you again, play the game on more even terms and keep the "respect" in tact.
Quote: He has read Michele's point of view with regards to making a choice to love again, rather than waiting for the feelings..at the time he didn't buy it.
My W didn't buy it either Mooka, and thats a common response. I can see where he's coming from, allthough Michele has a valid point. But a more natural human behaviour is to FEEL love first in whatever form each of us do, and then CHOOSE to act upon it in ways that allow love to grow and to create a meaningful R. My guess is your H just doesn't quite feel that "intangible" something that motivates one's heart to carry out the choice Michele is getting at. And being the guy he is, his pride isn't going allow a book or tape to "fix" him, that the way we are sometimes. My W told me if she just "felt" an ounce of the way she "feels" she should towards her H, she wouldn't throw everything away. She insists she should feel "something" for someone she's going to spend the rest of her days with and she just doesn't, so now I've given her her freedom to pursue that, lets see what happens..
A general rule of thumb Mooka: When your S isn't sure about his feelings about you or the M the passion, the sex the whatever, always listen and when he's done, sincerely agree and once in awhile give him the subtle impression that you might just be having some of the same thoughts. That way, you always keep the playing field level, and you plant a subtle seed in his mind that this isn't JUST ABOUT HIM, you just might not be too sure about contimually being passionate for someone who doesn't feel passion for you..When you give him a little taste of "my needs arent't exactly getting met here either..", you again, play the game on more even terms and keep the "respect" in tact. 
