The sad part WIS is that she truly believes this. She is completely sincere. She thinks I am being selfish, and that I am the cause of all these problems. She keeps telling me that I am being stubborn and should compromise. If I would just accept that the marriage is over, and be willing to accommodate her, we would be just fine. She is incapable of seeing how difficult this living arrangement is on me emotionally.
The last 2 weeks in church, the message has been on Esther. I am amazed at how much this spoke to me. Esther showed tremendous courage in doing what is right. I have been afraid of Divorce. I have been afraid of what it will do to my kids and what it will do to my family financially. But, it is time to overcome those fears and do what is right.
One of the key points was that we settle for mediocrity in our lives (He specificaly mentioned marriages) because we lack the courage to step out and act on gods calling. Esther wasn't afraid to act. My W is offering me the crumbs of a relationship. I need to have the courage to say that this isn't good enough. God expects more from a marriage and so do I.
It is so hard. Yesterday my W called me a hypocrit. She reminded me that early in our Sit, I told her that "Marriage is a commitment for life, and being unhappy isn't a legitimate reason for D". Now, she is throwing that back into my face saying that I am hypocrit for filing. Maybe she is right. I still need to think more about this.
