GTO, BD said something important: do what you think is best for the kids, not necessarily for you... I can't imagine how hard it must be to not see the kids all the time, but if you feel they'll benefit from shared custody, then agree to it. If you think it's best for them to be with you most of the time, then talk to your H about it. Never "fight." Just tell him how you feel and come to an agreement. The agreement might take a while, but it's worth it. You can do this. Sending you strength and love.
