If it's any help at all, please know that this sort of behaviour is exactly what my XH does, as well.
Exactly. Indeed, so much the same, that I believe it's part of the script.
My advice, through bitter experience, is to treat it as the venting of a man who feels so disempowered, so angry at the world, so depressed and ashamed, that he has nowhere to go. He is flailing and spewing. He's desperate to control SOMETHING.
It's a measure of his mental and emotional turmoil, in my opinion (at least, this way of thinking about it helps me get by).
Again, in my experience, it's best not to react or get too fussed by each outburst.
Just stick to your guns, follow your lawyer's advice, and keep quietly on your path to getting the best outcome for you and your boys.
I know how hard this is (and how easy it seems to say 'Just ignore it', in the face of immense emotional trauma, and day-to-day financial deprivation).
But in my case (and I hold to the belief that this is script), he just 'knocked himself out' with all of this spewing. It was bluff, or irrational thinking on his part. When he ran up against the court system, his approach to the whole thing just fell apart. Even he couldn't ignore that it just wasn't going to work to continue to behave like he had been. He could BS and threaten me, but the judge was having none of it.
So, out of the blue, after things finally got to court for an initial settlement hearing, my XH filed a discontinuance of his settlement claim. I couldn't have been more surprised, after the vileness and extremity of his claims for money from me.
He's cycling again now, getting all nasty about my challenge to his claim that he should only pay $7 a day child support for our kids.
But that is the process. That is mlc. We know that. We are strong enough to get through it. We've come this far.
The mlc monster will not prevail. Calm, steady, open, unfussed: we will continue to do the right thing for our families.
Don't get dragged into his trauma, GM. It's what mlc thrives on.
