The Show Must Go On

[BrightFuture]

Linda, thanks again for giving your prospective. You wrote on Raine’s tread:

The spring and summer before my H and EA1 broke up, he befriended multiple divorced or widowed Russian female language partners. Seven or eight of them. He wrote the exact same things to each one, pottraying himself as a lonely unloved man married to a cheat and liar, who he nobly stayed with for the children (actually in their 20s and 30s at this time). They all claimed to fall for him, and a torrid email exchange followed. I was seriously upset and snooping, but every relationship fell apart within 2-3 months. I finally decided the more, the merrier. If he was telling so many he loved them, he probably did not care about any.

Maybe this is what I need to expect after my H signed up on the dating site. The more, the merrier. Maybe this way he will get this out of his system quicker, LOL. I’m very curious what he is looking for in terms of relationship. I bet he doesn’t know except for “harmonious” part, hehe.

I agree with you that the things you find out when you snoop might break your heart. But, you are also right that sometimes I’m in such a dark that any possibility of snooping is very attractive.

Ruby, the snooping precipitated my BD as well. The lesson I’ve learnt is to keep it to myself. Of course I share it on this board now... But my H has no clue. I’m with you about the state of mind. I do this when I feel bad and discouraged. You are absolutely on the point when you say that snooping doesn’t give you real answers. The only thing I can say for sure if that H is lonely and cannot find what he is looking for. This is why he signed up on the dating site. He doesn’t like this internet stuff and would normally prefer to meet somebody in a regular environment, which apparently is not working for him. I guess he cannot find a partner who would be “one of the boys” and also have all these other qualities he is looking for at the bars and places he hangs around. I think he is still in a fantasy world.