Lounging by the pool, thought I'd pop in to say hello...
Raine, it seems each new stage or situation is tougher than the next. Yes, it was incredibly hard when H was the cold alien that wanted nothing to do with me. It hurt so much. But, it was easier to detach and distance myself from him.
Now, I feel like he is making attempts to interact and connect with me, yet he still clings to her. It makes me feel like second best.
But then I think, if she is so great, why he is still here? Why has he not completely shut me out of his life?
I still feel a connection with him, for sure.
Linda, his niceness does mess with my mind. I am really making a conscious effort to acknowledge the things he does for me. I think maybe he didn't always feel appreciated in our M - and neither did I - and it led to a cycle of resentment.
I try to look at it now as good practice for *if* (fingers crossed) we ever get a chance for a new improved M. But, if that does not happen, I want to be able to show appreciation to the father of my wonderful children.
UW, you always seem to be able to read me and know how I am feeling. It's amazing.
I sobbed last night when I read your line "I thought that because you had such a nice time with h and you were a family like you were before."
That's it. That's exactly it.
I think that I saw the possibility of what could be. That makes accepting the reality of what is much harder.
I really hope that he is trying to make sense of it all, thinking about what he could lose.
I am so ready for her reign to be over.
Still have some gas in the tank though, so I am digging in and trusting the process.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and hugs - I certainly need them
On a lighter note, strawberry daiquiri's here... Gotta go
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
