Hey Wiley....I, too enjoyed meeting you last summer. Thanks for the quick response and concern.

I am thinking about setting boundaries....I did some of that before T-Giving, and he did get his act together for the holidays, wanted family around, was fun, tried being his old self. Kids and I both noticed it...and enjoyed him. I have a meeting with my C on Wed...might ask her to help me with the boundary setting. I think I need to gently push him....take the risk....cuz I need to get on with my life sooner or later.
I have gone out some Fridays....with little notice to him and vague info. He didn't really respond, tho asked a few questions the next morning. I told him the truth...had wine with a friend in a wonderful, elegant restaurant... I'm sure he figures it's one of my female friends (which it was)...he knows I've got lots of them. I'm not very good at acting "as if"....I gotta work on that one. I did sign up for a mixed doubles tennis match and asked them to find me a partner on a Fri night, Feb. 6th. That should be fun...with drinks and socializing afterward.
Hey Wiley, how are things with you? I'll check some of your recent posts.

As far as the OW is conerned...I know he works with her everyday, meetings, emails, etc....he has said that he is not involved with her and I have to trust that. I have had a few melt downs over that in Oct and Nov....and I asked again....he says he has to figure out his own passions in life and what makes him happy before he can engage in any relationship. He said he traded in his life's passions for his drive at work over the last 5 years, and now feels no satsifaction there, either....he says he has lots of regrets.....including not communicating his changes and trying to work on our marriage. We both have agreed that neither nurtured our relationship much over the past 5 years....took much for granted, and are very sad about that.

He knows I want "us" to work on our M....that I'm willing to do the hard work.....he makes me sad & mad...cuz he can't even say he is willing to do what it takes. Yet, he treats me kindly, respectfully, plans meals with me, asks me some about my job, family....we talk tons about our kids...we both would do anything for them.
OK, enough for now. I appreciate any ideas, thoughts, feedback from you and all you DBers.
Mooka