Don't think of it as quitting, think of it as starting the next, better chapter of your life. I believe you did everything you could to save your M. Maybe it didn't work but as you said you saved yourself and that is more important.
I'll echo Spartan here....you've done everything in your power, you've fought for your M, and you can feel good about that moving forward. Yes, it is scary, but it's the next phase of healing and it will get easier each day. Hang in there.
As far as the custody goes, that's tough. My advice would be to lean on your attorney and fight for what you believe is right. Don't let guilt, or anger, or any of those other emotions drive your decisions...focus on what you think is the best for the kids.
