Need help detaching

[lost_hope]

Woke up so sad this morning. He's already up (he basically comes into bed late and wakes up super early to minimize our contact ... Not that we touch anymore). I'm going to stay in bed until I can manage a PMA. I just feel like this is a dream. Why can't I just be a normal woman going through pregnancy. I'd lost so much joy in the past few months and I can't get it back. I can't get back the weeks he didnt take my pregnancy progress photos (we took them weekly in our home at night so no one else can do it), can't take back our disastrous prenatal class experience, can't take back that I had to view the purchase of our first house (not counting the condo) as a business transaction rather than a life event. Ugh ... I'm honestly in so much pain. Anyway my GAL for today : going shopping for my hospital bag with his mom and cousin (his mom knows a tiny bit but not much, cousin knows nothing), continue to pack and put away my little munchkin's clothes I've washed all week. He's going to be doing his own thing most of the day so I just have to get through the morning.