She makes me question myself, and wonder if I'm just an a-hole who can't stand to let her go so she can be happy. Since I couldn't stick to DBing for the last 6 years, do I just want her around so I can keep us both miserable? My counselor wants to spend time delving into my past looking for answers to my anger and unhappiness. I don't think they are all that hidden or deeply buried. But real behavioral change is as hard as losing weight, quitting smoking, or stopping drinking. It takes continuous effort, and support. I don't want to be the husband or even the person I've been, but I also don't want to just give up and say that D is the best thing, either. I know there is a broad spectrum in between, but it doesn't seem like it when I'm repeatedly told that I'm verbally abusive (a term she used to describe her now departed mother - she actually made a direct comparison by saying "how do you think that makes me feel after my mother?").
