Does it matter if its WAW or MLC, treat the same?

[ForeverYoung]

Hi 25, thank you so much for your continued support to the members on this board. I'll never forget your posts to me when I first arrived here. Your words of wisdom have helped countless DB'ers get headed in the right direction. I also admire how you handled your H's MLC.

No 180's are to be done purely for confusing the spouse. These are changes---improvements you make to be a better partner. Otherwise the 180's are false tactics. They obviously won't last in a reconciliation.

Well said. I couldn't agree more.

I also don't know where the hard data is which proves an MLC is more likely to return than a WAS.

I'm not sure who believes that, and would agree there likely is no data on the subject. Even if there was, it would be near useless. It could never tell us which particular marriages were going to make it and which wouldn't. The thing I do know is that a spouse in MLC is dealing with much more than issues from the marriage, and no 180's we make can fix that.

But if you think the research does something that helps you change and GAL & detach, then by all means keep at it.

For me, understanding better what my W is going through helps me to have compassion for her, and to continue standing even when things seem to be at a standstill. I honestly believe it would be easy for many of us to give up and throw in the towel if we didn't understand what our spouse is going through/dealing with.

I just passed on my experience.
Good luck!

Thanks again.