My Wife moved out on me back on 4-6-13 and she stated at the time that she would keep her wedding ring on during this phase while we try to work things out. Yesterday I get a text message from her stating that she wants to move-on and be open to the possibility of meeting other people. We spoke on the phone for 30 minutes but it was pointless. Our problems are rooted in financial matters and me not being truthful about them. Marriage Counseling has had limited results and I need to accelerate my approach without the begging route. I like the phone coaching approach that is offered here. I think the financial situation will be resolved shortly and she has to be separated for 1 year to file divorce, so I got 9 months. No pressure here.
H: 42 W: 36 K: 0 M: 7 years
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
The best way to change what you are doing and do what can bring her closer and help alleviate some of the trust issues is talking to one of Michele's coaches. This is what they are experts at. They will give you a very specifc plan on what to say and do differently to get through to her...this is something you do by yourself...not couples counseling. Take care and I would look forward to talking to you further.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Just wanted to chime in and say your not alone, I don't have much advice other than the usual, work on yourself. She needs to trust you again, and that's gonna take time, so get your house in order.
stay strong, be patient, its not gonna happen overnight.
Thank you both for your insights, just taking the time to comment really helps. The DR book has been a Godsend for me. I'm getting very close to flush-out all of the financial matters, hopefully next week. The full-bore on the DB Coaching process.
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
I went to a pool party on Friday night where my W was not there but most of her girlfriends were there. Some I had not seen in months since she moved out and I really had a good time. I got the sense that most of them felt like my W should really make the effort to work things out, even though she's not being pleasant right now and it was reassuring. Regardless, I was anxious about going but once there the GAL part of me shined and I it was totally worth the effort as they will see her soon and report on my presence (which was honestly not the objective) but still, I showed my face.
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
PMA is the daily battle. Are you making progress with your circumstance?
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
If progress means, not going backwards, then yes, lol.
Right now im just giving time and space. I agree with the PMA, most the time is a complete façade, but its gotta be done. This time of year, the opportunities just aren't there either.
Time and space is all I got right now as well but I've also got resolution on what not to do as far as pursuing and being on the low end of the see-saw.
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
So my Wife replies to an e-mail that my Mom sent her and stated that she was laid off from her job on Monday, which of course my Mom told me about it. I had not spoken to her on the phone since July 1st and had not physically seen her since June 22nd (we have no kids). A good friend of ours who was in our wedding, strongly suggested that I should send her a card that just basically stated that I heard about you being laid off and I'm sorry that was the case. Which is what I did but I did not say "I Love You" or imply that we should get back together because of financial reasons. I just simply signed it "Warmly" with my name. There are no expectations of getting any acknowledgement of receipt of the card but it was sent and I'm not sure if it was the appropriate play.
Me: 42 WAW: 37 Kids: 0 Separated: 06APR13 M:7 Years, T:10 years WAW states she wants to "move on": 01JUL13 "Courage is the standing army of the soul which keeps it from conquest, pillage, & slavery."
