While of course I'm glad there's no OM, I wonder if it's something she'll need to "do", to see what she's missing/not missing. Thoughts? Either way, she doesn't seem to be pursuing it.
W finally started to get excited about the new car, (I tried getting one a while back and was shot down, so I dropped it) and it looks like it will be a fancy hi-end sports car! Imagine that.
Wait when you first wrote this I thought YOU were gatting the car.
But I think you are saying that your MLC'er is getting a RED SPORTS CAR!
Thanks Linda, T2, and uRw. I also believe W will eventually work through the SA issues and we will have an even better M than before... but it's really great to hear it from you guys!
Originally Posted By: Portia
Yep, don't borrow trouble.
Great advice!
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Wait when you first wrote this I thought YOU were getting the car.
But I think you are saying that your MLC'er is getting a RED SPORTS CAR!
Well REPLAY continues!
Who is paying?
We are paying for it. W and I both have always worked full time, and all our money goes into the same account. There's never been a his or hers. All large expenses are agreed upon. We live well below our means, and have never had issues with money. Our home has been paid off for several years now, we have no other loans, and our savings keeps building up.
We have no kids and so have always had sportier two door vehicles. Yes, I too think it is mildly funny/interesting, (hence my "Imagine that" comment) but I don't think you can accurately surmise what stage W is in based on the car we buy!
That said... if she chooses a red one I think I may poop!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
FY, Congratulations on your new car. Has she chosen the color yet? I think it's great that you're enjoying the fruits of your labors. Why not? A little (or big) splurge now and then is good for the mind and spirit.
I think I'm seeing a perfect song for your next thread. "Born to be Wild"!!!! Get your motor runnin', FY!
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
FY, my W wanted a new car too. In her case, she drove a minivan. My DB coach suggested that switch cars with her, which I did. Doing so removed the urge for a new car.
We keep our cars a long time... Hers is 13 years old, needs a few service items and I'm tired of working on it. This is why I suggested we move to upgrade it a while back.
She finally got excited about it a couple of days ago, but then seems to have kinda dropped it. I really don't want to push for this, I want it to be her decision. I wouldn't be surprised if she continues to stall... I may have to bust out the tools and buy some more parts!
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I joined my buddy at the beach volleyball meet up again today. When I got home W was gone. Not sure where she went, she may have told me and I forgot. Feeling a bit anxious right now.
Also, it seemed W was pushing me to go to the volleyball meetup. I was planning something else, but it fell through. I wonder why she did this. Maybe wants me to meet other women? I know I shouldn't think like this, but it's too late now!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
My H has mentioned a few times he's happy I'm working on myself, I'll be better for my new boyfriend. I realize he wants me to get a new guy for a couple of reasons. 1 he is DEAD AGAINST affairs, his dad had four, mom had one, sisters and brother in laws have had cheating issues as well, and if I do it will "seal the deal" for him I think. He knows it'll be over for sure 2 he can say, "see I told you shed be fine" and then there's the "she cheated first" bragging rights that would give him. While it is insulting to me, has he never met me!?!?, I think it just adds to his anger towards me that I have not reacted how it was written in his head.
Oh and all of a sudden he is driving a big ass four door, diesel with leather interior truck even though he still owes more than half on the Honda element we bought in November. A truck he has wanted for YEARS! Not sure where the element is OR how he can afford it. I casually asked where the element was and he quickly changed the subject......I think he knows that I would think typical MLC move and he is bound and determined to prove I'm wrong.
Hope you get to drive the fun new "baby"....enjoy it!
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
I know what you mean about feeling anxious. I'm sorry that you have to suspect these ulterior motives. I do think that when our spouses are in replay they may have those thoughts. I know my H often acted like he didn't mind or even encouraged situations where I would meet OM's. It really just adds to the load we have to bear.
But be encouraged!
My H certainly no longer feels that way now! Last July I had an entry in my journal, "Rock Bottom Sorrow". Just a year ago. We don't have the perfect M yet but we are both back in it!
Just wanted you to know I read your post and have a lot of empathy! rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I completely understand where you are coming from with the anxiety. But... It does not help us to mind read. I think we can't even begin to imagine what is going on in their brains.
You know your W pretty well and can read her, so it stuck out to you that she encouraged you to go to volleyball. From an outsider's perspective, the first thing I thought is that she wanted some space tonight for whatever reason. Maybe she is having a tough time emotionally, and did not want to be around you. I didn't get the impression that she wants you to meet other women.
I know how much you love her, and this is so difficult.
Hang in there FY, and keep on busting!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
