W has been pleasant when she is here to see D and this past week has been pretty low key otherwise, no R or M talk on my part (or hers) and no mention of divorce or lawyers. The heat here has been brutal (100 every day this week) and has cut down on my GAL activities, although I did spend a few hours weeding the garden and cleaned the house Monday before I was out of town overnight on Tuesday (W stayed here with D).
I was planning to go dark this week while D is at soccer camp, but it looks like W & me will be carpooling into work to save gas, both to help her with $ and me, since I have to make the entire mortgage payment out of this paycheck and need to stretch my money. She had her work schedule changed so we could ride in together.
She still is relaxed when I'm around but not jokey or silly. I was thinking of some of the earlier comments and this definitely happens more when we're doing something special or different together. This is true even when we've had to be together (running to train station for D, chasing bus with D & S) when I try to make the best of it and keep things light and she responds. It also helps that it's something new or adventurous/exciting, NOT constant discussions about bills. Even the times I invite her along for a run, she is usually relaxed and more like herself circa 20+ years ago (this is good).
My short term goal is to keep up the PMA when we're together and make the best of the opportunities I have. I don't constantly ask her to do stuff with me, usually one or two activities over the weekend (plus going to church together).
I do really miss an occasional hug or quick kiss, but I don't want to appear pursuing if I initiate anything. What would be appropriate?
I've also observed this week that the more I keep busy and work on my GALs, the less I mind read or worry about the future.
M:46 W:46 M:25;T:29 S:25; D:17 BD:12/22/12 D process begun:1/21/13 W moves out:3/1/2013
Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough- Alain De Botton
