Oh man UW, I got teary again. Happens at the strangest times anymore, usually when I'm reading something here lol!
You are too kind. I don't feel amazing.
I do feel like I know who I am, what makes me happy, and what I want in life.
Linda and J, I am right there with you - I feel angry and resentful towards my H too. I mean, we're only human. They often treat us like crap. So no, they don't deserve H of the year honors anytime soon.
I don't have any secrets Linda, but I will share some things that have really helped me...
~ when I am feeling particularly angry or resentful towards H, I choose not to be around him. Some days, I don't feel like being Miss Nice Wife. I see him texting and want to rip that phone out of his hands and smash it to pieces right in front of him. Since that is not exactly DB, I leave the room or go upstairs instead. We may not be able to control what they do, but we can control our reactions. Absolutely.
~ when I am really angry or resentful, I look for ways to release it. Yoga always works. Going for a walk. Punching couch pillows (oh yes, I did go there!) I remember rH got a good laugh once because I said I like to angry vacuum Cleaning is always a good outlet to release that negative energy - just think, how clean would your tub be if you scrubbed it picturing OW's ugly mug?
~ GAL is necessary for so many reasons. We get a chance to get out, have fun, and meet people. I really struggled with this after S3 was born, and it ended up being something H used against me at bomb. He said that I didn't do anything with friends, that my life revolved around him.
There was some truth to that.
Of course, I was also struggling to adjust to having two small children, working full- time, and running a household. I was constantly tired. Going out was the last thing I felt like doing. And in retrospect, H was not there for me to help me or support me.
If H and I make it to the other side with a new M, we will have a lot to sort through. And I mean besides the A and all his MLC stuff.
Anyway, now I make sure I go out and do things on a regular basis. Some things are planned or routine (like yoga), and some things are spontaneous. I mix it up snd do things alone and things with other people.
~ I have learned that it is a must to do nice things for ourselves. Let's face it, we can't look to them for that. We owe it to ourselves to be good to ourselves. Take a bubble bath, book a massage, buy a favorite book or magazine. It could be anything that brings you some sort of happiness or comfort.
~ I turn to the good people here for support. I could not do this without you. No way. So thanks for being here and listening
It is I who am honored to know you
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
