Thanks, snodderly. We've just been talking on the phone. Xh is too skittish for a face to face meeting. We've had a long conversation, but are taking a break. He asked that we do that when either of us needed to so that our dialogue doesn't deteriorate. In the past I have held him hostage in conversations out of my own fear. I didn't realize it then, but I do now and I told him that.
So far I've learned a lot without asking. His living situation is the pits and his R with OW isn't solid. He alluded to arguments and that it may not continue into the future. He's worried about his income if he is on his own. Interesting.
My goal is to rebuild trust by listening, validating and being truthful. It will take a while, but it can be done. I'm sure OW doesn't have the same goals, so no competition there.
