Thanks JaxFl. No theres no specific reason. I had another thread from before but wasn't much more insight there either unfortunately. Basically at month 5 he started spending all (and I mean all 7 days) away from the house. Work, friends, his mom, anything not to be home. After about a month of that we had a big fight about money/his mom. Since I had been nagging him about the staying out the weeks prior for him this argument was his "last straw". We the proceeded into a series of discussion/arguments (bc I kept asking why/how etc) and he pulls out the INILWY (I don't even get ILY but). He says our marriage is damaged beyond repair. And that we should part ways now before DS is too big and will be affected by it. Two years ago he was in EA and left me for three months. This time he is planning to stay mostly (I'm sure you read my last post) and spend the remainder of time at his mom who lives 5 Min away from the house we just bought.
I don't really know what it is besides a deterioration in the way we interact with each other. From the bits I've read he's cold and I'm hot and we have different languages. And I also approached my issues from a nagging point of view which is counterproductive. Perhaps I didn't fully forgive him for his A ... I still throw it into arguments when I feel at my wits end. I don't think it's an affair now bc he is still open with me with his phones and passwords and sad to say i know what hes like when hes having an a. Another thing is I have general anxiety and so when he does things to make me upset intend to ruminate and obsess about it and so he doesn't like the way I react.
One thing that I have to respect was his willingness to buy a house with me and his wanting to be with us as much as possible despite his "unhappiness". I put that in quotes bc I can't believe that grown adults who chose to be married for better or worse and chose to have kids can say that with a straight face. It's the most immature excuse be eve heard in my life. Your responsibility as married people is to work on whats causing the issue and try to get happy again, not run away and refuse to address anything. The only things that happened around the time he pulled away were the anniversary of the time we lost of first baby last year and also that I finally passed into a more stable pregnancy (I had some issues in the beginning which is why he said he won't have sex with me but have since been cleared and in light of his feelings I know the real reason). He also admitted a little fear of being a dad and resultant loss of freedom.
Like you, i don't understand how anyone can do this while pregnant or with really young kids. I'm working on me here but some days this whole sitch makes me feel unloveable bc really most men don't so this to their wife mid pregnancy. I'm trying not to focus on that and him at the moment. Hard when biology is telling me to get really close to the man I married and who got me pregnant. He at least is now spending more time with me but I suppose that condo be bc we have to pack up the condo sold (living here now), move in with his mom temp, close on both properties ( condo, new house) and make repairs to the new house. All this plus our son is being being delivered via c section in a month. Since he hasn't physically walked away guess that means more home time!
I don't know your sitch but will read and comment later. I'm sorry you're going through this. Have a good day.
