Clay--I don't think what you have is apathy. I clearly see living in the moment. That is one of the greatest gifts for having a special needs kid. Sometimes it's the little things, and you often miss them when you're busy making plans.
Linda--LOL, I never wanted to be part of this club either. But now that I'm here, I enjoy being part of a happily divorced community. Thank you for your kind words. My D19 is getting ready to leave for NY for her 2nd year of college. She's a chemical engineering major and plays competitive volleyball, and has a baseball playing BF. She's leaving early to go to the Jersey shore with his family for a week. I'll miss her. Kind of.
My D16 is a special needs kid who is the bomb. Undoubtedly, she was the reason that her dad and I chose to really work at our communication skills. We're going to have to co-parent her for the rest of our time here on earth. I'm fortunate. Barb is in the same situation, and she's had to do the lion's share of work in caring for her son.
My XH never did get a floozy. He mired his MLC in a deep, alcohol-infused depression. Then his mom died a year into our separation, which is when I knew we were never going to reconcile. I knew at that point, he'd be sidetracked in his own grief and musings, and trying to reconcile his difficult relationship with his mom. And I was right.
He just broke up earlier this year with his GF of 2 years - someone neither of my girls was truly fond of. But then again, neither of them is really loving the idea of Sweet Stuff for me either. I think it's hard for kids to see their parents move on. I know it will get better, but in the meantime, I'm allowing a lot of space for both of them to get used to the idea of me being with someone else.
And yes, I'm on very friendly terms with him. We talk on a daily basis (or at least every other day). He came over early this morning to wait for D19 to come home from a meeting so they could go fishing. We shared some coffee and conversation and a little reminiscing. He still makes me laugh. Right now, I like him more than I like my teenage daughter. She's having growing pains and it's been an interesting summer with her. Everyone has told me that this will be the hardest. I now see why.
Ok, off to check a couple posts and then get D16 out for a walk. It's a lovely day and we both need some fresh air.
Hope everyone has a great weekend--
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
