Not a whole lot new going on in my world. Just taking it day by day.
I'm still feeling good about myself and confident with direction my life is heading. It feels great to know I'm living my life and being authentic with who I am; first time ever with many things. I don't play the why game anymore and mostly go about my day figuring out my new life without obsessing over what anyone else is doing. I still have the occasional down moments when something gets triggered (almost always about loss of family or what kids won't have later) but they doesn't last long and I don't need to consciously work through them, it just happens on it's own and I move on. We've had quite a few showings on house but no offers yet. I know it will be tough moving out and will have some tough patches with kids but overall I'm excited for this next step. I continue to move stuff out into storage or garbage. I had no idea I had this much crap; I've gotten to know the steel collector truck driver... My golf game is starting to get back in form and more importantly I've hooked back up with some old friends and we are having a blast. They still struggle with my "healthy BS lifestyle" as they call it (i.e. I don't get drunk) but we still have fun. My running is going well and my knee is doing ok. Started running with marathon team on Saturday mornings which is new for me. I enjoy running alone but one of new things for me is to join groups and meet new people. It's been nice with group because it keeps me from getting bored on the longer runs. I usually start zoning out around 5 mile mark, tomorrow we're doing 13 miles and will start increasing every week until race so nice to have someone to talk with (more on that...). I've also started swimming because I think I'm going to give a half triathlon a go next spring.
Kids are doing pretty good and are full on in summer mode. D7 and I just went to Cedar Point on Wednesday to ride some coasters. She went bigger then I thought she would and we had a blast. It was 96 deg and we made it 12 hours (lots of water rides and puppy eyes from her to keep dad going). She's also busy with swimming (3 firsts and a 2nd in last meet racing in age group up from her against kids 2-3 years older). Sorry had to brag a little... S5 and I have a few father son things planned for next couple weeks and have been on a few 'guy adventures' in the woods behind our house. We spend a lot of time together with all 3 of us but I'm trying to spend quality time with each individually doing things they like. I think this is critical to do, especially for us dads. I used to date my D7 once a month and need to figure out a way to continue to do this with both kids, maybe more important now then ever.
W and I are cordial. She seems to be initiating more conversations and being more friendly overall. She's also more engaged with kids which I'm happy to see. I'm being polite, validating when opportunity presents, and continuing conversations so she can talk more with no expectations. For me this is more comfortable then the silent treatment we had for several weeks. I hope we can navigate through this and remain friends because I feel it's best for kids, and who knows what could happen a few years from now...always hope right. Don't worry, Alice (name Mach gave me when I start getting all crazy) isn't coming back any time soon and her being nice isn't stopping me from doing anything I want to do or diverting me from my path.
So, one thing that I mentioned a little in last post that has honestly taken me off guard is attention I get from women. I don't think I flirt or put off any vibe but I seem to be talking to a lot more females then I ever have. I'm not interested in anything right now and I'm not initiating any of these talks. This has become a point of contention with my friends who see these women I'm "blowing off" and think I'm crazy. I'm perfectly content just being on my own and figuring out this new path I'm on for a little bit. There is one on marathon team that has searched me out the last 3 weeks and we've talked quite a bit and we have a lot in common. She even has MSU football and basketball season tickets... It's just friendly talking after or during the runs and hasn't went further. I won't lie it is nice to have someone show interest and pursue a little but like I said I'm very content leaving it in the friend zone. New house, getting kids adjusted and enjoying them, my new life, training, and football season (yeah I'm excited to get that part of my life back) should keep me busy enough for the foreseeable future.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
You sound great. Thank you for your post, you are certainly an inspiration for me and I sure others as well.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
First off it's my 39th B-day today and I get to have lunch and spend evening with the kids. May not be the exciting bachelor day my friends think I need but it's what I want to do so that's what I'm doing.
Not a whole lot new in my life, just continuing to live life and enjoy the little things that it brings. XW and I are still being cordial to even friendly at times. Maybe there is hope we'll remain friends as time goes. I will say I'm surprised at just how detached I've become from her, both emotionally and physically. As some of you know we're still in the same house waiting for it to sell so we see each other daily. I can say nothing she does or doesn't do affects me anymore. We're basically co-parenting in same house and doing our own things.
My search for a house is building momentum and kids and I are actually checking out 6-7 together tomorrow. They've recently both started asking me more 'future' type questions. I answer them honestly and I think the right way for them to understand. I realized a lot of the questions have to do with the next place we live. I told XW that I was going to really involve them in the process so they felt like they have a say. Not sure she was on board because she wasn't doing that but I'm the one fielding all their questions and I felt it was the right thing for them. This has went surprisingly well and we've had a lot of fun looking at houses online. They are SUPER excited to look at them in person. Both my kids love the water and 3 houses we look at tomorrow have a pool so I wonder which ones they'll be pushing for .
Overall kids have been doing really well. We've always had a tight relationship and I think it's only been strengthened through this process. Besides the questions increasing a little neither have had any sad moments that I've seen and behavior is back in line with 'normal'. Actually they're probably getting along with each other better than ever. I still don't think they really grasp the whole separation thing and how that will feel since they are young and have never experienced it so I expect some hard times while we all make the transition. This used to stress me out to no end but now I know without a doubt I'll get them through it. One nice thing is both kids have taken more of an interest in reading the Bible lately. They've seen me read mine everyday for ever and know my beliefs but it was always me asking to read it with them. The last 3-4 weeks they've been pressing it to me. D7 has been reading hers by herself every morning along with a girls devotional that I gave her and has wanted to talk about "the stories" when I get home. I bought S5 the comic book version of the Bible and now he wants to read that every night before bed instead of the car or dinosaur books. I'm very happy for this since I don't feel like I'm pushing it on them anymore.
I feel like I'm busy all the time. Best part is it isn't the nuisance busy that a lot of my life has been. I'm staying busy doing things I enjoy and things that I've missed. Playing with kids and do active stuff outside, running with a team, getting in shape and exercising almost every day (if I could stop eating so much ice cream and cookies I'd have the defined 6-pack again, getting closer), started playing video game online with some friends again after kids go to bed once a week which is a lot of laughter, and starting to go out with friends. I also have tickets to a lot of sporting events with both friends and the kids. Couple things that are in the works that I just have to decide where I want to put my energy are: 4-wheeler/ dirt bike, Harley, sky dive cert, pilots license, back into martial arts, go-kart racing. These are things that I've either done in past and miss or have wanted to do. Will pick at least one once I get moved and new routine settles down.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
Since it is my B-day I've always made a bucket/ to do list for my next year. Difference is this time I'm actually going to try and do it rather then just have the list.
•Be best dad I can be •Buy new house •Marathon •Half tri •Sky dive •Pay it forward on DB forums •Take vacation with just kids •Build relationship with brother •Serve/ volunteer more then last year (maybe even mission trip) •Travel to away game for Lions and Spartan football •Act with honor, grace, and dignity (had to put it on list since it's my motto) •Put myself out there again to see what happens/ trust again (of all this may be the hardest, especially the trust part. Full tri might even be easier...)
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
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