hey, ruby, so, are you interested in this guy? does he make your heart beat a little faster? I think that I remember once upon a time that is a good indicator of interest.
where are we going to meet on the 2nd and what time? I live about 1 1/2 hr from Boston so can't meet too early. Yeah, ps is coming too!
Anyone else out there want to join us??? Can't wait!_
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
First, I apologize for dumping earlier...The combination of fatigue, stress, studying, feeling overwhelmed at times and juggling everything struck a nerve. I guess what I wanted to say is this.....
Is all this work going towards something you love? - One word answer reply pls
As for dating- YOU GO GIRL! It intimidates the f out of me right now. I cant remember the last person I kissed before my wife- geesh its been like 18 years.
But one hour sounds PERFECT- even if you didnt have a project. Too short is MUCH better then too long.......(I do remember that)
You didn't dump and I take nothing personally. You can always come over with advice etc. mi casa es su casa.....
Yes....one word answer
It IS freaky not having kissed anyone else except H, read my update lol on the kissing thing...
Really nice guy. Texts me to say good luck yesterday and then I didn't text back all day after a text and haven't heard from him since..... I texted him this morning saying I was out last night and often don't check my phone ( true). And that if I don't text back to not take it personally....also asked what he wanted to do if weather didn't hold for picnic. No answer yet
Now, the reason I wasn't picking up cell.....was out with H!
Asked if he wanted to have lunch Thursday, but he was busy and suggested Friday. I was in town because I had a surf lesson that night after school in morning. Which meant four hours in between. Well, surf lessons were canceled. So we had lunch and drank wine ( sorry ps). A lot of wine.
H asks me if I have had a date yet. I say yes. He says he is happy about it, but also admits later on in the night ( yeah....the night), that he didn't know how he felt.
I also find out that xgf asked him to choose.....her or his friendship with me. He choose me, apparently. I said that I cut him loose three weeks ago at his request and that it hurt, but I did it because loving someone means you want them to have the best chance at happiness.
He said he just couldn't do it, the thought of me not in his life is something he could not contemplate. That I am his best friend and we share a history together. He also admitted xgf was a rebound and a little immature. That he asked several friends and therapist about her asking him to choose and all said he shouldn't have to.
That being said, H is dating someone else....he says she is a lot like me(!!!!) but that are at different stages in their lives. She is my age, but with young kids. We all know that H is really not a kid person, so it doesn't worry me too much.
He also told OP that he and I are best friends and that whoever dated him would have to accept our relationship. I said to H, aside from the fact that we are still wildly attracted to each other, no one will put up with our friendship. Of course we had had quite a bit to drink and were very honest.
He also said he could never go back to being my husband because it almost destroyed him. I am just waiting that one out, I think.
The fact that I had a date really allowed h to open up. I said that earlier I wasn't ready and he wanted me to date because it would make him feel less guilty. He acknowledged that. Now he said he was excited for me and knew I was more of a toe dipper rather than a dive right in person.
He also acknowledged that he wanted me to see what else there was out there, like he was. That if I wanted to be with him it was because I had had the chance to explore the other options. He said that he was not the person for me. I said yes he was, and he could not tell me who was and wasn't, but if he thought I was not the person for him, I would understand. He didn't reply to that.
H also admitted lying about ML and the emotions. He said they were all there, and that when he said he felt nothing he lied.
Still going on my date, H still dating OP, but I feel that we got a lot out in the open. H said OM is very interested if he wanted second date and I didn't kiss him on first lol!!
H looked at me this morning and said, we have a really weird relationship. I said yes...yes we do.
H repeated a few times that New OP is very much like me.....I also know he is waiting for me to finish school so I can have a job. I think he wants to have so e financial independence as well, since he supports us all....I certainly don't begrudge him that!!
I guess. Xgf wrote him a dear John letter from overseas. H was not impressed lol. I told him that I was truly sorry it didn't work out for him, that he was very much in love. He looked at me and said that sometimes people label emotions wrongly, and what he thought was love was simply lust and gratitude that she appreciated all that he did, when I just took him for granted.
The boy is growing up.
I won't be using apt. Though. Even though he has offered me keys and stay whenever, I don't want to be that person.
He questioned my off fb and said that a lot of people follow my posts and they would be disappointed. I said that I had the desire to live in the now. That fb just has you lamenting past, speculating about future, that I didn't want to be that person, stalking his fb page, seeing what he is up to etc. that I am taking at least summer off on fb. He said he so understood that.
And that is where it stands and h also asked if spending the night would make a difference about the next date with new guy. I said no . Just as it would not affect his dates....
Well holy cow Ruby, I just found your new thread, and wow I sure missed a lot. That love letter must have been a punch in your gut. But like Bug and Wonka's dad, I found passionate emails from my H to his first EA, and to his current Tramp EA/PA. It hurts, especially to read the lies they say about us, right? But those relationships are based on crap, built on sand, lust and infatuation. Your relationship with your H is built on over 17 years of friendship and love. I truly believe Ruby, that once he comes out of this MLC induced insanity, when he graduates from MLC High, he will realize that not only are you his best friend, but the one person that he loves most in the world. It seems as if he is making steps in that direction.
Remember rH's thread, the hell her H put her thru returning back to his replay activities. And what Wonka wrote "And would you know that my father and stepmother did reconcile after all that drama!? Yep...they did. So hold on to that thought, Ruby."
I'm glad that your H chose you over xGF. In time, his new OW will force him to make the same choice. Hang in there Ruby, you ARE extraordinary. And your H knows it!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I LOVE wine! Give me a big old vine zin or barolo at a BBQ and I'm in heaven. W and I were married in a Oregon vineyard-def the most romantic of all booze.....
Did you make him persue at least...lol? You are wild
You are right to stay off Facebook. These days it's snooping. And great call on tha apt- its his.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
After reading the bit about the letter, I was going to tell you not to read too much into it. That early phase of a relationship we are all a little nuts. Sounds like he's figuring that out too though, which is good. Hang in there and good luck on date #2!
PS. H said if I hadn't had found list snooping on phone last year, confronted him, and then told him to leave, we would still be together.
My first reaction was sadness that I told him to hit the road last year ( .005 of a second) cuz my second reaction was that nothing would have changed and I was close to WAW status last year.
While this road has been tough, I would not have traded for the road we might have traveled had he stayed. This road sees both of us growing and rediscovering our love, whatever that may look like further down this road :))
