Nice moves! You know what to do! I think there's a reason Michele advises not to listen to much of what WAS's say when you are actively trying to change things by DBing. The resentment/hurt from the old M dynamic(pre-DB) still comes up from time to time perhaps. People get hurt the most by those who are closest to them. It's almost a measure of how close H is to you, that he feels the strong emotions, and then feels comfortable to express them. This is really what I'm starting to realize through my knowledge of psychology. I used to be upset H treated me "worse" than he did his friends, then I realized that his "worse" behavior showed through to me because I was so close to him. Would he feel so free or comfortable to express his innermost emotions(bad and good) around friends, of course not- on the same level as he can to you. If he was "detached" he wouldn't be getting angry at you, he wouldn't be showing you were getting under his skin. It's like he trusts you that much to be able to say whatever, do whatever and know you'll accept him still. That's the beauty of an intimate R. You ARE in a special place with H, and have been since you first met. Know that, know you are the only one he is so comfortable with that he can not have to worry about keeping up his "polite" or "happy" facade all the time. I have an outside perspective on this, because in the early phases of my S, when I lived apart from H, he was mostly nice and distant in our encounters. Then, he started getting critical, angry etc.. when I was getting closer to him - He was letting me in again, opening up... So, don't worry, "discontent" may still be coming out, but you have all the chances in the world to keep creating a wonderful new M! Does H have any other fantasies you could tap into?!
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
