You are so right, GTO. But my heart just won't let go. To make things worse, wife just called and asked me for a small favor. I had already spent most of the day thinking about how I would bring this whole process to more of a closure. So, during the phone call just now, I asked W when she would be able to start moving her things out of our home. One thing led to another and she became combative and upset. I validated her, stayed calm and gave her some words of affirmation. However at the same time, I was firm with my wish to reconcile. I acknowledge my mistakes in the marriage and apologized. I was clear that her feelings were not the same, and that she wanted to move on. I told her that I needed to put some distance between us, to save myself. I let her know how deeply my emotional hurt was going, and I asked that she allow me to pull back completely, for me. All she could express was how poorly I listened and acted during the marriage. She also kept trying to put me in a position of being selfish and not wishing to negotiate with her, which was absolutely untrue, and I think she even realizes it. She was literally wanting to fight, but I would not fight with her.....so no, My downward spiral begins again. I need to stop this before it kills me. I can't take it anymore.
