I am so, so sorry that you're having a tough time. You are very much loved here, RT. Glad to see that you're driving 3 hours away....FAR AWAY ...FAR AWAY.
You still have those hard-acquired DBing skills...they are there. For the moment, you do really need to focus on yourself and have lovely friends surround you with love & support.
Your W is a mess...no two ways about it. I find it interesting from my vantage point that she is desperately clutching at you, begging you, etc in order to reel you back into her drama just to check to see if you would cave in as you have done a few times. This is the time for W to free fall on HER OWN face since she made the choice and she must experience the consequences of it.
This is prime time to do the LRT. What this means is no contact, no discussions, no negotiations, no texting unless she either does the following:
1) End things with the AP 2) Need to talk about the house 3) Business related to the house
If I were you, I'd move swiftly to protect your financial assets and file for a separation. Show W that you mean business. By filing for separation, it will ensure that W still continues to pay her part for the mortgage until you two divide the assets. My DXW just up and walked away without paying a cent for our house mortgage and that SVCKED big time. I don't want you to have this problem fall into your lap.
