I had a mediated divorce. Although they are lawyers, they bill at a lower rate and their sole job is to broker agreement between two parties. If it works the way it's designed, you have give and take.
That being said...
Your XH definitely needs to reassess what being a parent is all about. At their age, some of it IS babysitting. But if you are accurate in what you replied, he's getting off easy. He definitely needs to manage doctor appointments and extra curricular stuff. I requested 2 nights a week as well as every other weekend. We do a lot of swapping here but we are way past the point of doing things by the book and keeping score. That way, I wasn't doing all the tedious stuff during the school week when everything is just hard.
So if you are able to use mediation, ask strongly for what you want. And if it works in his favor, ask for compensation somewhere else. We used mediation to do everything, including parenting schedules. So when the divorce was in motion, all our work transferred without issue.
I don't think you were too harsh. He needed to hear what you said. You're now in the hard spot of being pushed into a corner. Make sure you defend yourself and the girls.
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
