thanks adinva, well put. Like so many others it's such a struggle getting past your own feelings to deal with this as one should while DBing. And so far the waiting for the S to iniate contact has shown how well it works. Trying180 was spot on about that also.I just need to keep applying all that is being said to me and reading the DR book. This is hard stuff to deal with when it so directly affects your day to day life. Think I woud rather have a tooth pulled without novacaine...