You two have been with me from the beginning. You have been there for me in my darkest hours. I have seen both of you grow to become such warm and understanding men. You will see that women are drawn to those qualities.
I've finally decided to go for C. Through my whole ordeal, I didn't go to C. I felt that I didn't have time to explore my neuroses and delve into my childhood. I needed results quick, so I focused on Db coaches and this MB. During the alien invasion I had made myself numb in order to cope. Now that my H and I are back on track, I'm starting to have resentful feelings and I don't want these feelings to creep out in unhealthy ways. My H still doesn't know that I know about A. This is a biggie for me.
I am starting to recognize my DBing as an ongoing process. Let me illustrate. Shortly before the bomb, I was informed that my job was ending and that I would be reassigned (at least I didn't get laid off). I used to travel every week and I have a storage unit in Texas. H had agreed to go to Texas with me to help transfer the stuff out of storage. Then the bomb dropped and I was afraid to remind him. He probably would have said "no" anyway...that alien was really nasty.
The stuff is still there in storage and several weeks ago I reminded him about going to take care of it. He remembered and was very agreeable (no alien residual there). He said that he would prefer to go on a weekend and so we picked March 13. On Thursday, March 11, he said that he didn't feel like going and we should go next weekend. I reminded him that D13 was going to be on Spring break and would be home with us from school (her other mother lives in Colorado and D13 goes to school there. We have joint custody so she is with us whenever she is not in school). H asked that, if we could postpone the trip, then he would make it work next weekend. I didn't question this (I used to question him about these things) and just agreed.
Well, as it turns out, we really didn't do anything earth-shatteringly important this past weekend and, as H was looking at the calendar, he announced that he wouldn't be able to help me with the storage because D13 would be here and there was a basketball game that he wanted to go to. Argh! I was feeling very let down. I have put this storage thing off too long and now it must get done soon. I felt that he was leaving me in a lurch. I felt that he was being very insensitive to me and my time schedule. H is not a planner at all and I had warned him that there was a time conflict if we postponed. I didn't say any of these things to him. This would be more of the same for me. I decided to think about it before I addressed any of these issues with him. I wanted to think about what a good DBer should do.
As it turns out, not being reactive was the right thing to do (big surprise). On Sunday, H was being playful and I got into my "sassy" mode. H encouraged it and I said in a playful tone, "I think you take things for granted around here." He says in a playfully submissive tone, "Oh no, Christine, I'm sorry, I don't want you ever to think that." I sassily reply, "Well I do and I think you have been insensitive by reneging on your promise to go with me to Texas. How dare you leave me in a lurch!" Now you have to understand I wasn't nagging him. This was playful...kind of like bad acting and overly dramatic. It kind of took the edge off but I got my point across. He submissively said (again, picture bad acting), "I'm really sorry, Christine. I'll make it up to you by canceling the bball game and D13 can go with us."
Well how do like that? My wonderful H actually coming up with a solution. I guess I've underestimated him. Many lessons learned here. 1. Don't overreact. 2. Don't try to control everything. 3. Don't underestimate H's abilities.
BTW, we ended up ML after this interraction!
Put another mark in the DB column!
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
