Surviving Separation

[slow_it_down]

It would be a whole lot easier if our spouses came with some sort of manual.

My H has been pushing to set up a time for us to get together for lunch so we can talk face to face... His request, not mine. So last night I offered to stop by his work with dinner on my way home since he'd be working late. I also gave him 2 other options for when I'd be free. He declined on meeting up yesterday and chose the latest date of the 3 dates presented. Which is it buddy? Do you have something urgent to talk about or not?

Even more confusing is later in the evening he texted about not getting to eat all day because he "no longer has anyone to meet up with him for dinner." Followed by "oh well I'll survive."

In my mind I'm thinking, first of all, I offered you food... Second of all... You left me? And now I'm the one you are complaining to about misfortunes brought about by our split? What?

I'm noticing a trend of him venting to me about the drawbacks of his life after leaving. Some center around feeling guilty, others around not having anyone. Part of me thinks he just said that to let me know there isn't an OW around and that he is paving some sort of way towards reconciliation by opening up. I'm just not sure how to validate when he complains without saying "if you feel guilty or sad do something about it".

I've read all kinds of posts about validating when a spouse is rewriting history, or bringing up concerns about the R. If anyone has any suggestions on how to validate a spouses guilty conscious w/o going into relationship repair mode telling them how to make things better I'd love to hear them.