She is gone and not coming back

[Accuray]

I'm not telling you not to confront her, I'm just warning you that you will likely leave that conversation feeling worse instead of better, so I'm asking you to stop and think about why you're doing it and what you expect to happen.

But I guess I just want to know for my own sake, clear the air and get some honesty

What if she's not honest with you? What if she denies it even though you have all the evidence? Can you extract honesty if she's not willing to give it? If you wanted her to be honest with you, how would you approach her?

so I can get some respect back...and to prove I am not some lame idiot oblivious to what she thinks she is getting away with and laughing behind my back.

How will confronting her get your respect back?

If she has low morals why do you want her respect?

Why does getting cheated on make you a lame idiot?

Do you think she takes pride in being a liar and a cheater? Is that why you think she laughs behind your back, because she's proud of what she's doing?

Most cheaters are tortured by what they are doing -- when you confront them their agony shifts to anger at you. Your confrontation is a relief to them and they vent their pent up self anger at you.

By all means confront her if you want -- just plan carefully how you will do it, what you will say, the tone you will use, what you expect, and what happens next

Planet, "deserve" has nothing to do with it. He didn't deserve to be cheated on to begin with. You can't extract truth from a WAS just because you want it and deserve it