I own the book and have been reading it but I am confused. We have a daughter together. I have to call to speak to her. My daughter was away with her grand parents this week. What do I say when my wife asks why I haven't called?
A lot of people get confused about "going dark". It doesn't apply to children. We often say here that if you have kids you don't "go dark", you "go dim". That means you still talk to your wife about issues regarding your D, and it's OK to call W if your intent is to talk to D. You just don't initiate any other conversations with your W.
Have you read 5 Love Languages? Whenever I hear a story like yours where there hasn't been intimacy for quite some time it always makes me think of that book. It talks about how spouses get in a situation where both of their "love tanks" are empty, but both of them are sitting around waiting for the other to come fill their love tank so they'll feel "in love" again. So they both sit there and do nothing, wondering where the love has gone and why their spouse doesn't do anything about it. The premise of 5LL is that one spouse (YOU) has to break the cycle and DO SOMETHING. Read the book, there are some interesting success stories in it.
Unfortunately most people who come here are too late in their sitch to implement much of 5LL, but there are still some 5LL techniques that can be used even with a WAS.
