New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Now the confusion is really setting in. Yesterday morning it was hugs and cooperation. Last night he sent a text asking if I'd care to join him for a drink. I did, but only after making sure S13 was settled in bed, so I made H wait until I was ready to join him, not running straight out the door the minute he asked. He insisted on paying for the drinks as well. We chatted, nothing about the relationship, just about work, S13, general things. He asked if I would wait at his bus stop with him so we could carry on talking, after he made me promised to call him from the landline when I got home so he knew I was safe.

The confusing part is while waiting for his bus, he asked if it came down to worst case scenario and the split becomes permanent is it possible to fast track a divorce. WTF?? Talk about a roller coaster ride.

I did say it probably couldn't be done because we haven't even notifed the tax people yet of the marital status change - he asked why they need to know so I reminded him that we have to but not until after 90 consecutive days as it affects child benefit. I also reminded him that he is still covered as "spouse" on my company benefits. He asked why that was important - answer because it could be used as proof of when separation actually started - means he couldn't backdate the separation in order to "fast track" a divorce. I also reminded him that he has said that he wants uncontested due to irreconcilable difference so it requires 12 months before D can be finalized. The only way it would be granted right away is for adultery or abuse. He said he doesn't want go that route and he wants to keep things amicable. I also pointed out that neither of us can currently afford the court costs, even with keeping it friendly and not using lawyers.

My question to him was "what's in it for me to do that anyway when it's not something I want" - maybe a mistake??

His parting words were "Don't read anything into the question, we're not done yet. Me holding you like I did this morning should have told you that."

And I did call him to let him know I got home safely, and he also texted me when he got to his place, not that I had asked him to (boy, that really feels strange saying that).