Two years in limbo, it's a fine place

[adinva]

Hi Bug, early riser! By displace, and this was my interpretation not anything that was overtly discussed, I meant this:

Instead of setting a goal of not being bitter, and working on eradicating bitterness from myself by doing various bitterness-opposing things...

I can be something that is not bitter and so bitterness is displaced, it's gone simply because something else is there, compassion, perspective, love.

My IC showed me in a few ways, that I need to pay attention to my thoughts that lead to the feeling of bitterness and/or resentment that I was thinking I really didn't have. If you asked me questions I would have better, more loving and more evolved answers. But I was "bad" on purpose with IC to get something more useful than a pat on the back, and what I found surprised me a little and gave me something good to strive for.

I like how you rephrased it. I'm not bitter, you're right, but I do see some people whose feelings are so entrenched and constant that they do seem to be defined by those feelings, and those feelings do definitely affect their life course and their relationships. I do not want how I feel (sometimes) to be bitter.

All along here in DB land we've fought against what is natural and understandable, or else we'd all be here b!tching about our no good rotten husbands and wives who scr@wed us over. Because it sure would be understandable and natural and plenty of other people do it. Seeing that it's possible for me to release this stuff and one day be happy for H when he is connecting with the kids, if that should ever happen, makes me want to get there. I don't think it's a Mother Teresa act, I think it could really be how I really feel and I would be the better for it. I think Betsey went that direction and some others here, and it seems achievable.