Two years in limbo, it's a fine place

[labug]

I just re-read your post and you really slogged through a lot of stuff. Hope you slept well last night.

A couple of things popped out at me... "I am bitter" you aren't bitter, sometimes you feel bitter. A small change but those changes of realizing I am not my thoughts or feelings have been helpful for me.

(about asking H to help)even if I feel like I shouldn't have to, even if I feel like it's easier not to

I thought this a lot when the kids were younger and not talking about it with my H added to the resentment and bitterness I allowed to grow.

But "doing it all" did give me a certain position of superiority, in my head anyway.

Accepting that sometimes I will feel resentment has been helpful. Looking at the root of it (usually my expectations) has been helpful.

I don't know if you meditate but loving-kindness meditation has also been very helpful for me. Meditation is the closest I get to praying.

That post stirred up a lot of stuff. Thanks.