Fact is he is abandoning the family he created regardless of whether it's him or you. Forgive me, but this is a really sore point of mine considering I am being faced with the same issues in pregnancy. I really really doubt you were that "mean" that he would be justified in leaving his family. Even if you were, the vows were "sickness, health, better, worse, death do us part" not "unless my wife is too mean". His obligation in marriage is to figure out a way to work things out not leave. I may be old-fashioned but the only people I think are justified in leaving without trying are those in abusive relationships.

Also, you may not be able to find out exactly why now from him. WAS are often confused and in a fog, whether there's an affair or not. They also re-write history to justify their actions. And they also often say things (interestingly enough they all seem to have the same script)that may not necessarily be true. Not to say that it's all to be ignored. His complaints that you are mean may have some truth. So as a person you can work on those aspects that will make you a better person, not for him but for you.

Read the sandi/180 rules, buy and read DB and/or DR books, and try to GAL and not focus on him, focus on yourself and especially your child. I am learning this now, but when people with young families are going through this it's so worth it for us to give our children the attention that we often times divert to the WAS. A simple, easy question -- who deserves your thoughts and energy right now? Your H or your DD?

Me 35 H 34
DS- newborn 8/13
T 8.5 M 7
H's EA - 10/11
INILWY 5/13
DBing 6/13
Don't know WTF to do 1/14