It's time again for my neurotic obsessions. I'm so glad that I have this MB to express my neuroses. Last night H was feeling under the weather and he didn't really want to do much of anything except relax on the couch all evening. I immediately became concerned (internally) that he was distancing himself. When we were in bed, he mentioned that he felt his mania was gone (I was suspecting bi-polar illness before) and he felt like his soul was dying. OMG, those were the things that he said to me during the bomb! I validated, validated, validated and never let on that I was silently freaking out!!!
This morning was more of the same and he didn't say ILY. Ok I know this doesn't mean anything at all. I know that he is feeling under the weather and I will continue to act as if. He has not given me any indication that things are reverting back and I have given him no reason to revert back. I am just really insecure because of everything that has happened. Don't worry, I'm showing to him a happy secure and confident woman. He doesn't know my inner turmoil and I will not expect reassurances from him. At least I have learned some things from this DB work!!!
My question to the other piecers is: Do you ever start to feel secure that there is not another bomb around the corner? What are some of the signs?
I can't imagine going the rest of my life like this. I know that we must continue and we must heal and grow.
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
