New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

So the financial discussions have been done - we had our first credit counselling meeting this morning. H agreed to their debt solution plan so the joint debt can be reduced and paid off without using all our income. He even agreed to his own personal credit card being included - probably not much choice as the only other option would be for me to declare banko, which would leave him solely responsible for everything and he'd have to go banko as well. At least this way we still pay something towards the debt, our credit is cleared quicker and both will be better off financially as a result.

I have to admit that as much as it hurt to admit that I can't cope financially, either with him or without him, it is a major weight of my shoulders. It's hard to ask for that kind of help.

H was surprisingly friendly and cooperative during the whole process, to the point of saying that he wanted to do the whole thing jointly, not independently, because no matter what we're still family. After the meeting, he even gave me a hug and held me for a few minutes instead of pulling away quickly. I didn't make the first move - he did. His parting comment was "remember, we're not over yet, so don't count us out". That was a first for him as well.

This sudden turnaround is a bit confusing, but I figure it's just another stage he's going through. Until he actually says he wants to stay married, work on our marriage together and that there is no longer an OW in the picture, I'm not counting on anything from him.

On the other hand, S13 and I had a great time last night at the local pool. S13 even tried out the hot tub for the first time and enjoyed it. It was a great feeling when he commented on it being a great mom and son bonding time. He seems to be adapting rather well to this whole thing, which I'm pleased about. Both H and I have done our best to reassure him that none of this is because of him and that no matter what happens between us, we will both still always love him.