Since your focus is the same regardless, what difference does all this analysis make?
It gives some people hope...and maybe that's good. And maybe that's not.
I think this is a good question, and have seen it raised before. I see understanding the difference as helping you in the following ways:
1. If your spouse is WAS, then the issues are mostly marriage/relationship issues and 180s should have a greater impact. If your spouse is MLCer, then 180s will have less impact because many of the issues are of identity and internal to the MLCer.
2. The time frame seems to be very different with MLC much longer. Useful to know to help with acceptance.
3. MLC might not end?
The first point I think is important because if your 180s don't have impact after awhile with a WAS, you might be more ready to question whether you're doing the right 180s. For a MLC, I think that the 180s don't matter as much. In my case, my W has said that "she likes me much better now" and that "she has observed a tremendous change in me."
I find myself asking whether I can stay like this for 2-3 more years? I also find myself asking whether my W will ever resolve some of her issues? These are important questions for me to ask myself and understanding whether it is WAS or MLC helps in identifying the issues and possible outcomes.
With that I do think your advice about focusing on yourself to be good.
