I agree with DigDeeper. I'm not a vet so I hope I'm not being inappropriate by responding but start with the 180 rules/sandi rules and def read DB and/or DR. I think I tried to just dive into the board but it's worth it to put in some work reading and understanding the principles first. I am actually doing that now, while still journaling on the board. One other thing you will find is that you're moderated quite a bit in the beginning. The advice I was given was to post often in the your own thread (even if it's just to vent) and that will aid you getting off moderation. So in the beginning your posts will take a while to appear and may take awhile to be answered.
As I'm learning on here it's not that the DB techniques will make your wife come back to you, though that is possible. But mostly it's about you and what you will need to do anyway even if your wife doesn't come back. It's what you will need to do to move on with your life even if your wife does not come back. Overall you have to be the husband only a fool would leave. It's not always easy, actually sometimes it's so hard. You want to cry but you have to fake a smile. You want to beg and plead, but you have to listen and validate. You want to point out the good times, but you have to let all talks of the way things were AND the future go ... unless she wants to talk about it.
I also think it's a lot about introspection. As LBSs it may seem like we always have cause to be righteously indignant. After all it's not us that wants to leave our families and marriages. It's those bad WASs right? Well we have to listen to what they're saying as well. My H has given me some valid complaints and I am actively trying to work on those.
The last thing I will say is that unless your W is a complete narcissist I've learned that WAS are often in as much pain as we are. They may not be going about in a way we appreciate or expect but they're going through pain and turmoil as well.
I wish you luck in your situation and sorry you are going through this.
Me 35 H 34 DS- newborn 8/13 T 8.5 M 7 H's EA - 10/11 INILWY 5/13 DBing 6/13 Don't know WTF to do 1/14
