Helen,

I will give you feedback but I don't think you are going to like it.

Affairs usually aren't the problem but a symptom of the problem. They happen because people are emotionally vulnerable already in most cases.

You haven't said if he has told you if it is over or not...

Until it ends, it will near impossible to work on your M.

If it is over, he is going to go through some withdrawl, sadness, etc...that comes with the end of a relationship.

You have to decide going in if you believe you can, or even WANT to try to forgive him, or you will be wasting your time.

Forgivness is a choice. Doing it, means letting go, not score keeping, not bringing it up when you fight.

It isn't something that you just sit bdack and wait to see if it happens.

Therapy...

Can be a very good thing. If you are both working toward a common goal.

Unfortunately, many WAS, agree to therapy as a way to say they have tried everything.

Be prepared that that may be the case.

Reading your posts, I read anger, frustration, and fear. Which are all normal feelings in these situations.

I also read things that come across to me as judgmental, controlling, and pressuring.

If I see that, it is possible that your H does as well.

I am not trying to be discouraging...

I don't want to see you, or anyone here for that matter, simply think that if your spouse changes their mind that all suddenly becomes ok.

Things happen that bring us to these situations. And it takes work to change that.


"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox