thanks for the reply. I know you're right. I so, so, so want to send my W the email below, but I just decided that I'm not going to. It doesn't help with my longer-term goals.
But letter writing like this (as well as writing on this forum) is a form of therapy for me.
Here's what I wrote to W (but will NOT send):
W,
I feel like this is going to come across as complaining and nagging, which I don't want to do, but I realize it is complaining and nagging. Also, I cannot manage your relationship with the girls.
I do think D12 is unhappy and I think part of it is due to how things have been between us. WE ( and I say WE) have not had much time for our girls. BOTH of us have been preoccupied with other things and our own issues. D12 sees this. Unfortunately, I think she interprets it as a rejection of her.
You ask me why I think she is unhappy? Well this is what she told my sister directly. That's the first reason. The second is because I watch and interact with her and observe things.
On Tuesday, you came home and went to the bedroom. When dinner was ready, I sent D7 to go and get you. You were lying on the bed texting people. You didn't come, so I went and invited you to come eat with us. I returned to the table and it was me and the 3 girls.
D12 said, "Why doesn't Mommy and Abuela eat with us?"
I could see in her face and sense in her voice the rejection she felt.
Yes, you finally came out to sit with us, but only a few minutes later the phone rang with your brother. The girls didn't see you again that evening because you were on the phone a long time and then we left to go out.
