I completely understand where you are, so I'm going to offer my .02 too. (With Kat, you're now up to .04 - don't spend it all in one place!)
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Not sure how to explain this but I think what I am struggling with is that at this point I don't see her as "the one."
BA, can I ask you why you're even thinking about "the one"??? Dating is all about getting to know each other and enjoying the time. Take your time to see the flaws and the treasures without wondering if she's going to be Mrs. BA a year from now. That's WAY too much pressure, friend. If you approach every date like this, you're going to be in for some unhappiness. I know I wouldn't like being on the opposite side of that table.
If it makes you feel better, Sweet Stuff is also way more into me than I am into him. But I've decided I will honor his feelings and not set him up to destroy him because I'm pretty sure that right now, nobody is my Mr. Right. It's just where I am in life. But he's fun and sweet and he's definitely Mr. Right Now.
Do you have some sort of mental deadline that you will make a decision on someone by a certain time and then go for it? If so, that sounds like a whole lot of pressure on her and you.
Instead of feeling you're driving the car and have to get somewhere, why not take the bus? Let it go where it's going and see if it's okay?
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However, I did have those feelings with the last girlfriend I had and was really not interested in pursuing anyone else after she and I had gone out on just 3 dates.
I understand. I felt that way about my previous BF too. But it didn't work out anyway. So why not do a 180 and just enjoy things? I don't care if it's Romy or Lucy or a new girl. If you're not sleeping with any of them, why not all of them?
I'm not saying to be dishonest or to hide your truth. If they don't like it, then you'll know. If they accept the R on your terms, well, then everyone goes into things with eyes wide open.
I've told SS that it takes me a long time to fall in love with people. That hasn't been the case 100% of the time, but the fact is, when I did fall in love right off the bat, those R's didn't work out as I hoped either. So it's not a tried and tested true litmus test...
I dunno. I think you need to give yourself a mental vacation from thinking too much. You've got way too much going for you. And I mean that, Dave.
That's all I got too.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
