Thanks Urworthy! Things went really well. Did not cross the goaline in the bed area though:) W actually said she went got tested for STDs Tuesday and hasn't gotten results back. She is not comfortable till then and I am fine with that. We found S a school we really liked. Pricey!! But great. Found an apartment we like, her new stable is awesome for the horse. And my meeting on Fiday with office couldn't have gone better. We are relocating August 1st We definitely got a glimpse of what things can be like if we both make the effort to do so. Which is what we both want. Last night was an interesting night. We hung out and stayed the night with the couple she met through OM. It couldn't have gone better and were all swimming at partying at 3am. Lol Great couple. We all knew the elephant in the room and we got it out early. Actually the husband got it out first. He was the most worried about it becuase OM is his best friend. He said he understands the situation and that he knew it wouldn't last becuase of the way OM is and he even told his wife a few times that my W was way too good for OM and that she was just feeling a void at the time. I told him I am sure I will meet OM at some point either through them or through horse world and I will be cordial and fine with that. Just not anytime soon. He said he completely understood and said he won't have OM around when we are hanging out. Both he and his W sent me a message this morning saying how much fun they had and can't wait for us to move. I am not completely comfortable with W being there on her own yet, but it was a giant step forward. Looking forward to this new chapter in our lives.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I'm keeping changes of myself and how treat my W on the forefront of my mind everyday. Communication has been the biggest difference in everything so far. I don't just lock away my feelings when I am mad and wait for them to explode like I use to. If something is bothering me, scares me or hurting me I am letting her know. She has been much better at getting her feelings out. Not good, but definitely working on it I can tell. Our MC is putting us in touch with her mentor in atlanta so we will continue therapy. We also planning on attending Retouvaille in September in atlanta. Thanks for keeping me straight Urworthy:)
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
C, I just caught up on your sitch. Just wanted to say that this is a great thread, you've really laid it all out there as far as your thoughts, concerns, feelings and fears and this would make an excellent thread for people to read to get an idea of how difficult the piecing process is. I suspect your honesty here carries over into your relationship too, and that is going to serve you well in piecing. Your thread also shows just how important a good MC is during piecing. I think you're doing a great job, especially regarding the immense patience you've shown on issues like ML. Keep up the good work
WOW C ~ sounds like patience, patience, patience is paying off!
You are a ROCK STAR!
Congrats on your new life, moving forward.
I'm very excited for you!!
((HUGS)) Magic
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Thanks Magic and AS! AS, there is no doubt that piecing is were the real work begins. I now understand this. You spend so much time in the beginning wondering what happened, feeling like your world is over, acting desparate, and going crazy that you feel like there is no hope. Then you get to a point where you feel like you will be alright and you've spent so much time and effort working on yourself that you start to forget what it would really be like and begin to remember that everything you thought was a perfect spouse on a pedostal isn't really that at all. So once the peicing begins you realize that your spouse isn't perfect and you feel like you are a better person and begin to ask yourself, "is this really what I want" It starts to play tricks on your mind. So with that said, think goodness for a good MC! I truly believe reconciliation can't happen without one. It's not that they have all the answers, but they can help so much with the direction and guidance. They help you to remember that both of us have taken the bigger step in realizing that the marriage is what we want. So all that direction and guidance is towards that. Patience is te key. I have learned that it took a while to get to this point and it will take a while to repair. We have our bad days here and there, but we both chalk that up to the situation and realize what we are dealing with
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Things are definitely moving at a quick pace now it seems like. We leave for Atlanta on Tuesday. I am nervously excited. We both realize how much work we have to do and are both committed to making this marriage work. Just kind of scary. Going from living in a 2600 square foot house, to not living together for almost 8 months and now moving into a 1100 square foot apartment that will we be on top of each other. I've got to have my exit strategy to the gym:) MC said we need to pay attention to this and both need to take a wall or something if things get heated. MC said this is a great thing and we will have to depend on each other and it will require team work which will grow out bond stronger. She said the last couple months with her we have been doing crisis management. Now the real work is about to begin. I'm excited about where things are headed. W is at a horse show right now since Wed night and I have been fine with it. She has talked sharply a few times at me because she is having a bad day at show. I am not ok with this, but will wait to talk about it after the move. This is a big 180 for me. Normally, i would have got upset with that and wanted to get into it right away. Now I realize her being short with me is not about me personally. So I just listen and validate. I'm keeping records of how the communication is while she is at this show so we can discuss how to better handle it before the next one. But like I said, I am going to wait till after the move
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Lol!