DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[labug]

It sounds more like a "don't ask, don't tell" thing, neither of you was entirely truthful.

Again being clear in what you ask and asking for what you need will get you the R you want.

For the last 2 months I've been reading books and DB'ing, he hasn't read anything on marriage and learned any of new tools, so he still believes he's "tried everything". Yet he's learned nothing....so of course he's still the same.

He has done all he needs to do, you can't make him want to fix the marriage. You don't know that he's learned nothing, it's just not what you want him to learn.

That doesn't make him wrong or a bad person, it's just who he is.

I know, it [censored].

You're on 2 different planes right now.

Let him go, move forward.